Today the New York Times published “The Losses We Share,” an essay by Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, who opens up about her miscarriage that occurred in July.
“I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second,” she wrote.
As many as half of all pregnancies may end in miscarriages, according to March of Dimes, a nonprofit working to improve the health of mothers and babies. For people who know they are pregnant, that number drops to 10 to 15 percent. It’s a relatively common experience, one that women like Markle are changing the conversation around.
Just last year, The Atlantic published a story titled “All the Pregnancies I Couldn’t Talk About.” Writer Amy Webb explained she didn’t know her experience wasn’t unique until she opened up to a friend after her third miscarriage. Webb boiled down the problem: “We do not talk openly about miscarriage and fertility in America, and yet miscarriage is more common than the flu…I never told anyone about my miscarriages, because as a professional American woman, I’d been indoctrinated to mute the implications of my gender.”
Markle’s admission strengthens the signal for women to feel unashamed about discussing their health issues and trials in motherhood. More universally, in overcoming grief, Markle advised that the best way to start healing (from a miscarriage or otherwise) is asking, “are you OK?”
It’s what she asked her husband after they learned the loss of their child. It’s what a journalist asked her during an interview following an exhausting tour in South Africa. It’s what she wished she had asked a woman she remembers crying amidst a bustling New York City. In light of this year’s turbulence, Markle assures us: “Are we OK? We will be.”
You can read the full article here.